It’s an emerging theme. A few weeks ago, The New York Times reported on couples seeking therapy for green conflicts. There was a story today on the Oregon Live website highlighting the friction that can emerge between couples where one person is more into green than the other.

Let’s call it green friction, that force in a household when one person is more green-minded than another. It’s often characterized by comments like: “Why did you throw this away, Love? Did you realize it could be recycled?” (Love probably did); “Are you going to drive to the store for milk? Seriously, feel free to borrow my rain pants — it’s only a light drizzle.” “I’m about to put on a third sweater since the thermostat is set low enough to freeze an ice cube.”

While most couples probably have one person more green than the other, I have personally found it also depends on which aspect of green—energy, water, health or stuff–each person cares about and if they are different, watch out! My better half is all about energy, recycling, carbon— and ROI. He is an accountant by trade after all. And he was WAY greener than I when we first met.

My on-ramp to living green was health. Particularly kid’s health. And since he thinks some of my greenness stems from mild hypochondria, he’ll often roll his eyes when I insist that whatever we buy for the kids has to be free of preservatives, antibiotics, hormones, artificial colors, sweeteners and flavors, and high fructose corn syrup. He reluctantly agrees to forego the Apple Jacks and Trix for healthier choices. He throws the $6.99 tiny package of “healthy” chicken fingers in the cart, but points out that he ate Weaver and is just fine, thank you.

He knows not to ask how much the kid’s all natural lotion cost or it will ruin his day. I’ve had to learn to breathe deep, and shut up, when he slathers products on himself that garner moderate and high hazard scores from the SafeCosmetics Database. He talks me out of green projects with 10 year + paybacks. I remind him that our son being able to breathe at night is priceless.

I’m sure some couples have serious green battles, particularly if one person is just starting to think green and the other isn’t there yet . I feel pretty lucky that our green differences seem to lead only to a few eye rolls and snarky comments. But I would also say this is where being practically green helps. It’s easier to find detentes and compromises. For me last week that meant bringing home a box of Apple Jacks…just to say I cared.