Of all the dreary, sad chores in life, one of the dreariest and saddest must be going through the closets of a loved one who has passed away. We’ve all heard of bereaved children, parents, and spouses who can’t bear to do it. But when it came time for me to clean my parents’ closets, I had no choice: we were selling the house.

And as I realized that there were items here that my kids and I might enjoy wearing, the chore became a bit more fun. I could imagine that Mom and Dad would like the idea of their stuff going out to dinner again, or snuggling in for a rainy-Sunday read.

Mom's Pucci shirt

This was one of the prizes from my mother’s closet: a Pucci blouse of tender cotton. Beautiful colors, right? — and Pucci! I stuffed myself into it, ignoring the fact that my mother was a size four, that my shoulders have deltoids and hers were exquisitely tiny, of an era when women didn’t lift weights.

What to do?

First I consulted my dictionary, which gives three definitions for vintage [vin-tij], adjective: 1) high quality of a past time, 2) being the best of its kind, and 3) old-fashioned or obsolete.

Needing more, I consulted my friends. And this way, over the past few days I’ve collected a treasure trove of advice and stories from some of the most chic women I know, and I want to share it with you. I hope it’s helpful, and I hope to hear yours!

SIZE:

When buying Vintage, make sure it really fits. Some shops will try to sell you that dress that is just a 1/2 size too small. Too small is too small, and alterations are going to show. In Vintage, there will only BE one size, so it’s sad if it is not yours, but be honest.

Don’t think too much about the size on the label. If you like it, try it on.

Don’t count on being able to let a garment out or the hem down, but the opposite direction usually works.

Don’t keep it if you will NEVER be that size again. I don’t mean just shoes. That’s just being mean to yourself. If it’s really great, and you can’t bear to give it away, EBay it.

Or, lend it to someone who is the right size:

I hit the mother lode a few summers back after unearthing a practically perfect Chanel Sailor’s Midi Jacket at a local tag sale for The Boys & Girls Club…. The jacket had aged gracefully, unlike its previous owner, and although a tad tight on me, it looked unbelievably chic on my daughters, who have fought to wear it with jeans or minuscule dresses. It’s back in my closet, with a bit more history attached, hanging next to other vintage favorites destined to land in the next dress-up box for my daughters’ future children…or for me to wear, once I fit into my old favorite jeans. Which ever comes first!

Julie's Tag-Sale Chanel Jacket

CLEANING, TAILORING, AND BAD VIBES:

Clean it, mend it, and wear it like it was new. Vintage doesn’t work as Style if it looks dirty and unloved.

I don’t normally go way back in time, style-wise, but I did just buy a wool jacket from the 1950s at a Buffalo Exchange in San Francisco; changed the buttons and added some decorative ribbon to the lining & now I have a sort of Mad-Men-looking item.

I do worry about buying /inheriting a piece with bad vibes, bad tragic history–at least get it tailored and dry cleaned. Then put it out in the fresh air for the day! This: a memory about how to handle an afghan burka brought to me by my daughter, from Kabul. These historic pieces do come bearing an energy of their own. Vintage is good- but figuring out what’s in it besides fabric and shape, is good too.

BEST BETS: PURSES, JEWELRY, ACCESSORIES:

Had to share this great leopardskin clutch originally belonging to my husband’s grandmother, Emma Sala, who was the Lodi, CA grape harvest queen of 1918 and who is famously depicted on the raisin box in her queenly garb. My sister-in-law, a multi-media artist, gave it to me recently and the gift meant a lot because she has used it in a lot of her noir-ish photographic still lifes posted on-line at her website: CeceliaChapman.com.

Barbara's Leopard Clutch

I gave the clutch a loving restoration and plan to carry it everywhere.  The next picture shows the restored red leather lining. I should note that the clutch has a matching leopard skin belt which has not survived into the 21st Century as far as I know.  Maybe it is out there somewhere.

Restored lining

If you’re shopping eBay for accessories, put “authentic” into your search term and don’t look for crazy bargains. If you see an Hermes (“Hermes”) bag for $300, that is too good to be true. And, keep a tape measure in your drawer. You can’t tell scale from those teeny photos. Friend of mine bought a gorgeous Tods bronze lizard bag, only to find that it was actually 5″ x 7″, the size of a large index card.

Jewelry can last forever, so it is one of the best items for Vintage wear. If you are lucky enough to inherit jewelry, find ways to wear it! I am honored to have a pin that my husband’s Grandfather gave to my Mother-in-Law. When it was first given to me, I didn’t really wear pins. Were they out of style? Or was I too young? But I DID use the pin as a clasp for twice wrapped pearls. BIG success! Now I also wear it as a pin. I know people who have been left fabulous pieces that they never wore, and who have been brave enough to go to good jewelers to have the pieces redesigned, stones reset… The point of having things is to use them, wear them, so don’t lock it away.

WEDDING DRESSES:

What happened to wearing your mother’s wedding dress? Rosie has expressed zero interest in mine. She has watched a show called “Say Yes to the Dress” and had me watch a bit of an episode as she thought this Kleinfeld’s — some wedding dress store in NYC — might be worth visiting. It’s a wedding dress factory! Pushy women pushing to make the sale and move on to the next victim, in my humble opinion! Wasn’t that a wonderful tradition when we were growing up? I always wanted to wear my mother’s dress — I probably couldn’t have fit into it although I never got the chance.  …. In these times when money is tight and a wedding dress you wear for a 6-hour stint costs anywhere from $2,000 to $10,000 or more, wouldn’t it make sense to wear your mother’s dress for practical as well as sentimental reasons?

OTHER GOWNS & EVENING WEAR:

Evening coats, wraps, great silk shirts, sweaters have great vintage potential. 1) They were/are expensive. 2) They mix and match wonderfully with the latest style of skirt/trousers/shoes. 3) They are unique now. I have a Pucci blouse, bought in the post Christmas sale at Saks in 1976. It looks fab. People go crazy when I wear it. I feel like a movie star…. I have one inherited gown, brown chiffon layers, Empire waisted, with two wonderful sort of trailing scarves hemmed with Marabou feathers. These can be draped over either arm like a skinny wrap, or allowed to drift along the floor in my wake, rather like tiny dogs. My Mom may actually have worn this gown to an Inaugural Ball! They don’t make them like this anymore.

VALUE & EXPECTATIONS:

If you are buying and not inheriting, don’t buy just because the price is low. Mentally add a zero; would you still buy it? Do you know what you’ll wear it with? Will you need new shoes, a new weird undergarment with straps going in strange directions? That would be a sign to leave the garment there.

You will not find the staple items of your wardrobe 2d hand. For black pants, that crisp white shirt, the everyday cotton turtleneck, you’ll probably have to pay full price, and new.

MANTRAS:

As you skim a rack of clothes, focus on the fabric. If you come upon a fabric you could contemplate wearing, then and only then tweak the item from the rack.

Vintage is good, but I think even better is, to own less, buy less, keep it longer.

Found treasures are rare, few and far between.

When my father died, he left behind three v-necked cashmere sweaters in his bureau. A few moth holes, yes, ineptly mended, but all from Trimingham’s and all utterly reminiscent of him. My daughters and I each keep one now. Dad was a prolific writer and thinker, and his size, men’s medium, works just fine for us. Now, when I need to write and think, I pull on that sweater. I guess we wear our “Papa” sweaters for comfort, to feel close to him once more. Who cares if this is a sentimental illusion: it works. Some stuff isn’t merely stuff: it’s vintage. And by that I mean, the best of its kind.

P.S. As for Mom’s blouse, I think I’ll keep it hanging up on that hook for a while, where I can look at it whenever I want to.

Third-generation cashmere: Louisa in Dad's sweater

Please note!!

This blog post is part of the must-read monthly Green Moms’ Blog Carnival feature about Clothing: What’s Eco, and What’s Not, hosted by our friends at Big Green Purse @biggreenpurse.

For next steps on donating clothes to a charity or adding to your wardrobe with vintage, visit us at Practically Green!